It Was Fate
by DaniDiNardo
Summary: A love too strong to be denied but too wrong to be acknowledged. Beastboy knows he can't keep up the facade much longer. The love he holds for Raven is just too real. He can't admit it, not after what happened to Terra, not after what happened to the team
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys so this was a story I made when I was in the 6th grade but don't worry I did a good amount of refining and I think it's a good read so yeah hope you enjoy

Chapter 1

"Titans fall back!" Robin shouted, stopping short of the crumpling bridge that threatened to flatten them. The morning had barely started and they had already found themselves chasing their favourite villain, Slade half way across Jump City. The Titans swerved just in time. He couldn't have chosen a worse time to show up. If only Cybourg had waited an extra day before accepting that offer to be the leader of Titans East. They could really have used him right about now . . .

"Dudes he's getting away!" Beastboy shouted in frustration, watching Slade begin to disappear in the cloud of dust that was rising slowly from the rubble.

"After him!" Robin ordered.

He couldn't allow him to escape; he had stolen some Haeline Thyusfai from the local research facility and would no doubt have used the substance to wreak the kind of havoc that wouldn't easily go away. It was now or never and the latter didn't appeal to Robin nearly as much as the first. Though he wasn't sure what it did he knew that it must have been powerful or it wouldn't have been worth stealing in Slade's eyes. Whether they liked it or not they had to put their necks out—they needed to hurry.

The dust began clearing and with visual restored the titans were able to locate their target. Starfire blasted forward with Raven and Terra just behind her. With the advantage of being in the air they had a better chance of catching him.

"I got him!" Starfire screamed, her hand close enough to feel the fabric of his shirt.

"Starfire look out!" Terra screamed after seeing Slade dip into his small bag that was slung over his shoulder. She already knew what he had pulled out but she just didn't know what it was for—all the more reason to ensure that Starfire avoided it. The sudden stop that she pulled was so unexpected that Raven ended up flying right into her. Before they could right themselves Slade had already deployed a few balls of the substance. They blew up upon contact with the floor leaving all three gasping and coughing.

"Stop!" Robin shouted before Beastboy could get the chance to run into the smoke. The girls had already been exposed; there was no need to risk further exposure. He had confidence in them; they would be able to handle him.

"I can't see!" Terra shouted.

"Neither can I. Which way has he gone?" Starfire asked, spinning aimlessly. The thick smoke made it difficult to see anything further than a few feet away. What made it worse was that it was beginning to suffocate them. What was this substance anyway . . . ?"

"This way!" Raven said, encompassing them in a mind shield that slowly began filtering out the smoke. Soon they could see. They could see Slade standing at a distance, he wasn't running anymore instead he stood staring at them. His intense gaze was almost hypnotizing . . . it was like he was waiting . . . but for what?

"Let me know how this turns out." He said before turning and walking away, with the smoke as his cover.

"Ugh . . . I don't feel so good . . ." Terra complained, sinking to the floor. The surrounding area was starting to dance and a wave of nausea ran through her. Without understanding why she broke into a cold sweat and her limbs were going numb. Looking up she saw the smoke slowly seeping back in and she knew why when she saw Raven sinking to the floor next to Starfire. It was affecting them too . . . What had Slade done to them . . . ?

"Raven?" Beastboy called out. They could barely hear him as the sounds around them grew fainter. "Raven where are you?" Why was he even calling her name? He wasn't supposed to care for her as much. The name he should have called was Terra . . . that was supposed to be the first name on his lips so what gave . . . ?

"Starfire?" Robin shouted from just outside the perimeter of smoke that engulfed them. Luckily he hadn't heard him call her name. Robin wanted nothing more than to rush in to save them . . . to save her but it was too risky. Who knew what was floating around inside that blanket of death? Standing there and doing nothing began to eat away at him. He couldn't take it much longer. "Beastboy I need you to stay here." He instructed before slapping his cape over his mouth and nose then running blindly into the now receding cloud.

The first to be seen was Raven, He ran over to her, trying his hardest not to breathe despite the fact that the cape was blocking anything from getting inside his system. It wasn't until he grabbed her hand that he spotted Starfire. There was no way that he would have been able to carry them both. He felt even worse after discovering Terra just a few feet away.

"Come on, get up!" He pleaded in frustration. None of them stirred. He was about to run out again to get fresh air for his screaming lungs when he felt the floor shifting. This was Terra's doing and not a moment too soon.

"Are they alright?" Beastboy asked as soon as they emerged from the vanishing smoke that only a minute ago was so thick that he could see very far into it.

"I'm not sure. Terra was able to get us out of there but she hasn't exactly regain consciousness." Robin said, more than a little preoccupied with Starfire. Why wouldn't she wake up? She was hurt badly . . . damn that bastard, what had he done to her?

Beastboy glanced to the side. Robin was distracted with Starfire and being the dutiful boyfriend that he was he had to tend to Terra . . .but what about her. In his head it wasn't fair. She needed to be cared for too. He wanted nothing more than to be by Raven's side as she laid unconscious but he knew better. He had to be careful or he would have aroused suspicion and the secret would be out.

"We have to get them to the lab." Robin said, picking Starfire up. "We could use something big right about now."

Beastboy nodded then turned into a horse and waited for Robin to load them on. As he placed Raven Beastboy couldn't help but hold his breath. He wanted to tell Robin to be gentle . . . he didn't want him to hurt her. Was she even suffering at the moment . . . ? While those questions plague him he couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't asking the same of Terra. She was supposed to be the only girl in his life and especially in his thoughts but lately he couldn't get Raven out of his mind.

Back at the tower the girls were set on the lab tables with machines monitoring there heart. If anything were to happen they were ready to rush them to the hospital.

Robin sat by the monitor trying to figure out what the hell had happened. Beastboy found himself standing over the wrong bed as he waited to hear the findings. They had been out for hours now and they didn't seem as if they would wake up anytime soon. No matter how hard he tried to stay by Terra's side he couldn't help but drift back to her bed. He had to feel her silky smooth hair and he had to make sure her skin was still warm . . . he had to be sure she was alright . . .

"Beastboy."

Robin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts . . . thankfully. He didn't want to think about her anymore—it was making him mad.

"Yeah?"

"It's pretty late; we won't know anything 'til morning so let's head off to bed." He suggested, turning off all the lights except the ones directly over the girls. Beastboy sighed, knowing just how right he was.

"Alright, you go ahead, I'll go in a minute." He had to stay abit longer.

"Hey, she'll be fine." Robin said resting his hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

Beastboy's eyes quickly shifted to Terra. "Um, yeah . . ."

Robin began walking away but he stopped at the door. "I wasn't talking about her but yeah, she'll be fine too." Beastboy's eyes went wide. Was it possible that he actually knew . . . ? He had tried being discreet about his feelings . . . "Don't worry about it, I won't mention it." Then he left.

Beastboy looked at her again; it was like he couldn't get enough of her. She still hadn't stirred. He traced his finger along her lip and suppressed a sigh. Maybe just a quick kiss. . . no one would have to know—certainly Terra would never have found out though unfortunately neither would Raven. She would never know how he felt. He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. His heart leaped when he felt something like a response. Leaning away he looked down at her but was disappointed to see that he had only imagined it. With shoulders slumped he made his way out of the room and off to bed. That was all he could do—that and hope that they would wake by morning. As he left he couldn't help but feel disappointed. She was still unconscious and she still didn't know that he loved her. . .


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Ahhh!"

The sound of Starfire's high pitched scream had Beastboy scrambling from his bed. The drowsiness quickly wore off as he remembered exactly what transpired the day before. The girls! Why was Starfire screaming? Something bad must have happened he was sure. Before he could get to his door it swung open.

"Beastboy we gotta move!" Robin said before running down the hall.

He knew that.

Without wasting anytime he went cheetah then bolted down the hall and towards the lab. His heart pounded faster as faster as the distance got shorter. He had to see that she was alright—she meaning Terra of course . . . well that's what he kept telling himself. He knew it wouldn't have been able to work for the mere fact that he was already spoken for by Terra, who was supposed to be his _girlfriend_ that he loved _dearly _and besides Raven had just had a bad break up and knowing her she probably wasn't emotionally ready to jump back into the dating pool again.

He stopped running and turned human again when he saw Robin standing at the threshold of the room. His body language said that he was stunned but he had no idea why.

"Oh this is such glorious news!" He heard Starfire in that voice he knew all too well. She was fine, in fact she was celebrating. Beastboy knew that she wouldn't have been that happy if something dire had happened to any of them so he was able to relax after her outburst. He put on a smile and, dismissing the fact that Robin was still standing at the door in shock, bolted inside to see what the 'glorious news' as Starfire called it, was.

His mouth fell to the floor when he saw four children in the room as well, none looked older than 6. Two were being squashed in Starfire's hand, Terra had one sitting on her lap and the last was sitting on the opposite end of the bed that Raven now looked uncomfortable on.

"Holy shit . . ." Beastboy muttered. He didn't know what else to say. The kids looked just like the girls and that gleam in Starfire's eyes said that they were a welcomed surprise. Slowly he turned to look at Robin who had not yet defrosted. "Dude what happened?" He asked through his teeth while trying to maintain a smile.

"I have no idea . . ." Robin replied through his teeth as well. It was obvious that he wasn't nearly as thrilled as the bouncing Tamaranian. "Follow me." He said, tapping Beastboy on the chest. The two walked into the observation room and after locking the door the main lab turned on a special light. The children started looking around in wonder and amazement.

"What are you doing?" Beastboy couldn't help but ask. He really wanted to know what those things were and where they had come from. What if they were some kind of parasite? It was certainly possible seeing as how this was more than likely Slade's doing. Looking over at Raven he the uncertainty in her eyes.

"I need to run a quick test to see what those things are." Robin answered, distractedly tapping keys while looking at the wide screen. Beastboy tried understanding all the readings that came up but everything was moving across the screen too quickly. What made him even more agitated was the expressions that danced across Robin's face and just kept changing. What did it all mean?

Raven sat on the far end of her bed hugging her knees in an effort to remain calm while staying as far away as possible from the thing on her bed. Why was this happening to her? She couldn't understand how Starfire could have been so ecstatic about something so mortifying. It wasn't even logical; waking up one morning to some child staring you in the eye with your face. A face you were trying to forget. . .

"Star should you be so excited?" Terra asked while looking at the little boy sitting next to her. "I mean we don't even know what they are."

"We already told you, we're your kids." The girl who called herself R.A said, jumping to her feet. "Why don't you guys believe us?" As she asked that her stare fell on Raven who looked away almost instantly. She couldn't look at her. She wasn't a mother and there was no she had anything come out of her because nothing good ever could.

"Gee, maybe it's the fact that we're all still virgins and you need to sleep with someone at;east once to get a kid." Terra stated as if it was perfectly obvious.

"No you're not." The two in Starfire's arms said, now looking over at her accusingly. Raven couldn't help but feel hurt. She had known that the relationship between those two was serious but she never let herself think of just how far they had gone. Now faced with reality she knew why she didn't.

"She may be," The little boy who called himself B.J said, pointing at Raven but you two definitely aren't." Starfire giggled guilty denying nothing. A surge of blood rushed into Terra's face after hearing that.

The door to the room opened and the guys walked in.

"So what are they?" Terra asked.

"Well weird enough they are actually your—your—"

"See I told you!" R.A blew up, turning to Raven with a sudden level of excitement that scared her. "I am your daughter and you are my mommy!"

"Whoa I never said that." Robin clarified. He didn't want to be misunderstood. "Yes you share a good amount of DNA and yes the resemblance is there but I'm betting that this was all Slade."

"Wait, he said something about letting him know how things turned out." Terra said, suddenly remembering their brief encounter.

Robin nodded. He had suspected something like that. "He must have stolen some genetic replicators before he left with whatever he lifted from the lab. No doubt he thought this would slow us down giving him time to use whatever the hell that thing is. We have to find him."

"But what will we do with these?" Starfire asked with that bright, sparkly eyes look that usually let her have her way. They all stared at her as if the answer wasn't already obvious; there was no way they could keep them. For all they knew they could have been unstable or just plain dangerous and if not they would only serve to slow the team down. They were super heroes, they didn't have time to watch children all day or worry about them when they're fighting late at night; it was simply too much of a hindrance.

"Listen . . . Star . . ." Robin had to think of the nicest way possible to tell her that they had to put them in the chamber and destabilize them. There was probably no easy way of saying that but facts were facts and the sooner they left was the less likely that some bond would be formed.

"Ooohh I can't wait to show you to the room we will be staying in!" She said, not waiting from him to finish. She flew high, still cuddling the two. Oh boy.

"Star we can't keep them."

Robin watched the beautiful Tamaranian sink to the floor. Her spirit seemed to have literally been crushed and tears were now brimming in her eyes. He couldn't do this to her. With a sigh her turned to Terra with a questioning look. She sighed as well.

"He's abit cheeky but I guess I wouldn't mind keeping him." She said with a shrug but inside she was glad that Starfire felt so strongly about keeping them. Maybe now Beastboy would look at her the way he used to . . . the way he now looked at Raven . . . then they could pretend to be a family and bond just like old times. In truth she saw BJ as the glue that would bind her to him once more and this time she would keep him stuck.

Beastboy glanced over at Raven as Terra made her statement. He saw her cringed slightly and knew instantly that this wasn't going well with her. She had that look he knew all too well; she was scared . . . but of what . . .?

"Um I don't think that's such a good idea . . ." Beastboy said while rubbing the back of his head nervously. He didn't want to suddenly be the bad guy but at the same time he felt he had to help her.

"Why not?" Terra asked. He had to want to keep them or he plan would never work. By now she was desperate to have him hold her like he used to but here he was standing in the way of that.

"Yes, why can we not keep them Beastboy, they are so cute!" Starfire whined before flying directly infront of him and pouting the way she always did. Glancing over at Robin he knew he had lost because so had Robin. He truly was a sucker when it came to her.

"Okay fine but I don't think this will be such a good ide—"

"Yay!" She said going around in circles, as happy as a child lost in Candyland. "It will be so much fun. I have heard so much about the customs of earth mothers and I am thrilled to try them. I will change your diapers and feed you processed mush and we will go for walks in the strollers." Her list went on and on as she thought of all the things she could have done.

"Diapers?" Brightfire asked, looking over at her brother.

"Processed food?" R.J repeated.

Clearly, Starfire didn't see how old they looked and therefore didn't realize that diapers and processed food weren't necessary. Still it couldn't be helped. She was ecstatic about having them and they were grateful for that because they could have ended up like R.A; her mother didn't want her, she wouldn't receive any love and she would probably disappear because of that . . .

Okay so guys I'm not sure if I have this hang of this just yet so if you have any reviews they would be much appreciate, thanks


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had taken most of the first half of the day to get the children settled in. Starfire, especially had taken quite some time in making her preparations. She did so much that her room was almost unrecognizable. What could she say? She was thrilled to have them and she knew they would stay because that's what she wanted and what she wanted she always got.

Raven on the other had made no effort to make little R.A feel welcomed. She couldn't. Doing that would have meant that she was lying to herself because she didn't want her to stay . . . she didn't want anything to do with her. . . .

She wasn't going to fix her a nice bed, or set out a space in her closest for her and she wasn't going to ask her if she was happy because that would have meant caring, something that apparently she wasn't able to do; well atleast that's what Cybourg said before leaving . . .

"So where will I sleep?" R.A asked when she walked in and found Raven meditating. Something had told her that disturbing her was a bad idea but she wanted to know. She had walked through Titan Tower and saw each of her friends with their mothers being all happy and enjoying each other's company. They were laughing and fixing things together that they would use later. That was the norm with any mother child relationship. That was how it was supposed to be . . . so why hadn't her mother looked at her even once. Was she somehow undesirable? That couldn't have been it . . . she had done nothing wrong and she was willing to be the perfect little girl . . . if only she got the chance.

Her heart sank when she saw Raven point to a blanket that was just outside the door. She had passed it on her way in but she never thought it would have been used for that.

"But I thought it I could sleep in here with you . . ." She said in a small voice. She wasn't trying to be a nuisance; far from it but she had to try. If she didn't then she would disappear and that thought terrified her. Her heart sank even further when, without looking at her Raven shook her head and pointed to the blanket again.

"Hey Raven, Robin wants us all down in the meeting room." Terra said, leaning against the doorpost. As she stood there she looked in at her. She couldn't help but wonder what BeastBoy say in her. What did she have that she didn't . . . ? For starters Raven wasn't a very social person so it couldn't have been her personality . . . unlike Raven her skin actually held some colour and well she considered herself the life of any party, yet despite that Beastboy seemed to have been drifting. It wouldn't be for long though. She had a plan and B.J was going to help her accomplish it. They would be the perfect family and Raven would be out of the picture. For now she would play it cool.

Raven sighed then got up. This meeting was more than likely about the 'mini T's' , as Beastboy called them and she wasn't interested. No matter how she had tried she was never able to love and she was sure that if she tried again she would only get hurt . . . or she simply wouldn't do it properly; either way meant failure on her part and she had had enough failure in her life, she didn't need anymore. Walking by Terra she realized that her body had tensed. She knew Terra was taking whatever it was between her and Beastboy seriously but she was going to the extreme. Raven had got the picture loud and clear; Beastboy didn't belong to her and she planned to steer clear of him. What other option did she have? There were certain wars that could never be won and this was one of them. Terra knew how to get what she wanted and at any cost. She could do things for Beastboy that Raven would never be ready to do and she could make him feel more like a man than Raven could. It helped to admit from early on that you had no chance that way you wouldn't have expectations. Avoiding expectations was the key to avoiding disappointments, which her life just seemed chock full of.

Entering the meeting room only served to make her feel guiltier than she already knew that she was. Starfire had her two sitting on either of her legs, both playing in her hair and giggling. She watched as Terra took her own into her lap once she took her seat. It all hurt more because she knew she wasn't planning to have R.A anywhere near her. In her mind R.A couldn't have had a worst mother.

Beastboy looked over at Raven as she took her seat next to Terra. This was good because it meant that he would have been able to look at her, using the excuse that she was actually looking at Terra. His brows crinkled when he saw R.A take a seat on the opposite end of the table. Somehow he knew this would have happened. She had a hard time letting herself look and that would unfortunately be reflected in her relationship with the kid. He knew it wasn't her fault, she couldn't do any better and he wasn't about to judge her as he had heard Terra doing just that every morning. Instead he wanted to help her; he wanted to teach her how to love again. He wanted to be the one that she opened up to the one she trusted enough to let all her emotions run wild instead of anger, hurt and sadness. It was a goal he would work towards because he loved her and she deserved the best quality of life and love available.

Robin walked to the wide screen that had charts and info on it. He looked it over once more before turning to them.

"Well I have no idea how to really explain this very much but it would seem that they aren't necessarily your off-spring so much as they are . . . well . . . an extension of you. The DNA is conclusive and it is very monotonous in composition which proves the earlier theory that Slade must have stolen some genetic modifiers from the lab on his last heist." Robin said, displaying a chart of the DNA comparisons. It was strange. There was more to it than that but he couldn't figure out what . . .

"You're wrong." R.A said, glancing briefly over at her mother. "We're not just strands of replicated DNA. I know for a fact that she's my mother and I happen to know what happens depending on the attitude of the mother so don't tell me I'm DNA 'cause I'm not. This is real and whatever happens is real."

"It's true; we snuck away from our dimension even though we were warned not to because of the implications if we should fail."

"What would you fail?" Starfire asked, intrigued by just about everything either of her children said.

"Our mission is very simple; gain love."

"What?" Robin asked, not following. He couldn't see why that would have been so necessary. That didn't seem like enough of a reason to leave a dimension; there had to be more to it than that. . .

"Wait so you all left, not knowing whether or not we would accept you and all for the sake of love?" Terra asked, also finding the idea abit ridiculous. It didn't make any sense for them to do that.

"Well that's not technically it . . ." B.J admitted. "We were pulled from our dimension, we just started faded. We were taken to the elders and they told us what was happening and that it was the first vanishment, as they call it."

"Vanishment? Is that even a word?" Beastboy asked. This wasn't making much sense to him either.

"Yes, you see our dimension technically doesn't exist." Brightfire told them. "Everyone that is there is waiting to be—literally. We all wait until the time arrives for us to appear in whatever dimension we are destined to be in which is this one. The elders said that the second vanishment was the one we needed to avoid and that one led to the gates of death; there's no return from that one."

"Yeah and I'm guessing we came her because of some loop in the time dimension because we had atleast another couple years of waiting according to the biological clock that we have built in we aren't supposed to be here but something set everything out of whack." R .J said. He turned and reached into his pocket. "It was this thing I believe. It's distorting everything and messing up the natural ordre of a lot of stuff." He said showing them a picture. They all gasped involuntarily. It couldn't have been. Haeline Thyusfai . . .

Slade was up to something!

"You've seen it?" R.A asked, puzzled by their looks.

"Yes . . ." robin barely managed to answer.

"Great, hand it over, the elders said if we could find the disruptor and break it then we would be able to return."

"I'm afraid we can't let you do that. Starfire said.

"Why not?" her twins asked in unison.

"Because then you would leave me and I do not want that!" She whined.

"But we'll see you in a few years." Brightfire, corrected.

"Yeah unless you speed up the process." R.J suggested.

"So then . . . that would mean that you do have fathers?" Terra asked. She knew that if that was the case then B.J was definitely going to belong to Beastboy and in that case they could have started working to make him permanent.

"Well yeah . . ."R.A answered sounding a little uncertain.

"Really? Who?" Starfire asked, overly ecstatic. In her head she already knew the answer but she wanted to be sure; she wanted to hear them say that she and Robin would be together forever and they would have children together.

"We're not telling you." B.J said, matter of factly.

"What? Why not?" Terra couldn't help but ask. I mean shouldn't the answer have been so simple? It wouldn't have been of any consequence seeing as how the truth was already known. She was going to get Beastboy and they would be together and they would be a family and Raven would simply disappear into the background. Now she didn't personally have anything against her but when it came to her man she wasn't prepared to take any chances.

"Because it would throw a lot of things out of whack." B.J said. At the moment our futures aren't certain so to make things fair game we can't tell you." He knew himself that R.A wasn't the only one in danger or disappearing but for him it would have been different. At the moment both he and her had to be in a struggle with the end of their line blurred. It had no end because there was technically no beginning to either. No matter what happened he had to ensure that his mother and father stayed together and that nothing made him divert from the path. This was a dangerous game and though they were all friends they understood that atleast one of them would have to go throw the second vanishment without actually having a life in the first place. For now they were both existing and that was only because technically they weren't.

He and R.A exchanged knowing glances. They planned to play fairly but at the same time they were playing to win . . .


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so before I begin let me apologize, I am sooo sorry that this took so long you would not believe all the things I had to do and now I'm going through my exam period (hoping I get all A's .) right but for all who waited here is the next chapter!

Chapter 4

Everything had quieted down by the evening. Surprisingly enough there had been no alerts. It was almost as if the city had gone on a vacation or simply the villains. Of course this was a good thing but not to Robin. He knew that Slade was still out there and he now knew at least one thing that that the Haelin Thusfai did. Who would have thought that Slade would have had use for something like that? Just what had he planned to do with it anyway?

"Robin, our children are wondering if you will be reading the bedtime story of the lost blorkhog or if they will have to read it to each other." Starfire asked, standing at the threshold to his room. She could tell that she had pulled him out of his thoughts and she didn't mean to but the children seemed so excited that she had caught their enthusiasm and decided that she just had to ask.

Robin turned and looked at her. He could see the apprehensive look on her face and he sought to get rid of it by giving her a smile to reassure her that she had done nothing wrong. "Yeah, of course. Tell them I'll be there in five minutes."

When she heard that she squealed with joy before flying back down the hall. In her mind everything was perfect and nothing would ever change that.

A lot of things seemed to be perfect. Terra found herself thinking the same thing as well. She was laying in her bed with B.J sandwich between her and Beastboy. This was how she wanted it. They were supposed to be like this forever. She looked down at her son then over at his father and when he caught her gaze she smiled.

"What?' He asked, confused by her sudden smile. He thought she had said something sentimental and he had missed it because of his mind that was preoccupied with thoughts about Raven. He tried to play it cool but relax after she shook her head.

"Nothing, I just love you." Terra replied.

"Oh . . . I love you too . . ." Even he could tell that his words held less convictions than they should have but there was nothing he could do—except change the topic. "He really is cute isn't he?" He said, beaming with pride at his sleeping son. B.J had fallen asleep listening to his parents talk about the future. It all seemed so secure to him that he just knew he could afford to relax. As long as things stayed this way then he would be fine. He would miss R.A terribly but not enough to enter the second vanishment in place of her. "I can't believe he's ours."

"Why?" Terra suddenly got very defensive. Beastboy figured he had said something wrong by her tone but he didn't know what. . . "Don't you think it's possible for us to have a son together?"

"I never said that—"

"Oh but you were thinking it. What? Would you have preferred having a son with Raven huh? Were you hoping that you shared him with her instead of me?"

"Whoa, Terra, where is this coming from?" He tried. He knew that he would be confronted about this sooner or later but he had hoped it would have been later . . . much later.

"Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. I see the way you look at her and even the way she looks at you," So she did think of him in the same way. Inside Beastboy did a flip of elation but he had to remain composed. "Just remember that I'm the one you love okay? I'm the only one who'll always be there for you because I love you." She told him. He gazed into her sad eyes and the only think he could do was nod. This was why he couldn't leave her. He knew it would have crushed her and he couldn't bear to do that. It wasn't in him to be the bad guy and making her cry would have ruined him. Despite his shifting feelings his pity never shifted.

When he didn't give her the right answer Terra leaned over and gave him a light kiss. It took a few seconds but thankfully he responded. Her heart had actually been racing as she wondered whether or not he would have responded to her kiss but when he did she knew there was still hope.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" She mumbled when she pulled away. She tried pleading with her eyes and he soon gave in.

"Of course, I don't see why not." Because he wanted to go see Raven, that was why not.

Terra smiled over at him, trying to assure him that he had made the right decision. She reached over and wrapped his arm around her. She loved the warmth of his hand. It offered her peace and certainty. It told her that he would always be there for her and wouldn't go off to be with another. That was how she liked it.

Beastboy laid there watching Terra drift further and further into dream land. He knew that staying with her was his obligation and he couldn't simply say no but he couldn't help but wish that he had. He didn't want to be in her bed he wanted to be in Raven's. Holding her, comforting her; there was no questioning that she was more than likely crying to herself at the moment and he wanted to be there to wipe her tears. If only he could get away from just a little. That was all he wanted. He didn't want to detach permanently but instead he wanted just a little time off when he could do what he wanted without it hurting anyone.

The hours ticked by and soon all Titans were either going to bed or already sleeping—in most cases. Just outside Raven's door R.A paced the floor back and forth. She had thought that Raven was joking when she said that she would be sleeping out in the hall but now the door was closed and she was on the wrong side of the room. Her eyes drifted to the ragged blanket on the floor and it made her eyes blurry with tears. What had she done to be treated like that? Was it something she had said? Perhaps she had come on too strong . . . it must have been something bad to make her mommy hate her so bad. Pretty soon her feet got tired of pacing and she sunk to the floor in defeat. At this rate she would go through the door at the second vanishment and she would never see anything ever again.

That thought scared her. She didn't want to disappear . . .

She pulled her feet up to her chest and hugged them tightly. She didn't want to think anymore; her thoughts were getting scary and they made her wish that she had her mother to comfort her which only made her feel worse. What mother?

As R.A sat on the floor the tears began pouring down. Didn't everyone deserve love . . . ?

It wasn't until she heard someone else crying that she stopped. When she stood up she realized that the crying was coming from behind Raven's door. Her first impulse was to run in and give her a hug but she knew better. Not even now would her mother accept her. She would simply push her away like she always did then she would be left feeling hurt. She wasn't used to being unloved . . . then again she wasn't used to being loved either. . .

On the other side of the door Raven was curled up in the center of her bed, crying her heart out. It seemed that no matter what she did she always hurt people. What was wrong with her . . . ?

She questioned herself for letting her 'daughter' sleep out in the hall but she couldn't bring herself to call her in. when she heard her crying her heart just broke. It was bad enough that she usually found herself crying but now she had a child doing it too. She knew that R.A didn't deserve to be treated like that but she didn't think that she could do any better. She was an unemotional being, Cybourg said so himself. She was insensitive and rigid—completely devoid of any kind of feelings and it must have been true, why else would Beastboy stuck to Terra instead of giving her a chance . . . ? Why else would Cybourg have said such mean things? She couldn't care, she didn't know how to. . .

The next morning R.A woke up to the sight of her friends staring down at her and snickering. She sat up and rubbed her eyes not sure what was so funny.

"This is your bed?" Brightfire asked, trying not to laugh.

R.A looked down. She should have expected this. Their mother wanted to them and gave them a nice bed so it was no wonder they would have made fun of her make shift one. "Leave me alone . . ." She muttered, unable to look them in the eye.

"Has your Mommy even hugged you?" R.J questioned. "Ours gives us hugs every second and she tells us that she loves us over and over."

"When does yours tell you that?"

"Does she even tell you that?"

"Probably not 'cause you look neglected."

Each word that they said cut her deeper and deeper. It wasn't her fault that her mommy didn't love her and they shouldn't have made fun of that.

"Alright that's enough you guys." Beastboy said, walking into the hall. He had heard ridiculing R.A and felt that he had to step forward. It was no secret that Raven showed R.A no affection and having the children make fun of her because of that was like creating a second Raven. One was hard enough to convert.

"Daddy!" B.J Squealed, running over to him. He picked him up and gave him a hug.

"Hey dude, did you sleep well?"

"Uh-huh!"

R.A looked away. She couldn't bear to see what she wouldn't have. When Beastboy saw that he quickly put his son down.

"Right so breakfast should be done soon so we should head over to the kitchen or something . . ." he led the way down the hall and they all followed. As they walked they made little smart remarks; all targeted at R.A and the fact that she was not loved. It wasn't until they got there that they spoke of other things. When they entered the room they saw Terra and Robin watching the TV while Starfire cooked—whose bright idea was that?

The children each took a seat around the counter to watch her while they spoke of trivial things.

"Last night my parents stayed up talking about awesome stuff that we'll do in the future!" B.J bragged, clearly pleased that he future was secure.

"That's nothing." R.J said dismissively.

"Yeah, our parents had sex." Leave it to Brightfire to say exactly what was on her mind. She had gotten that from her mother only hers was much less refined.

Everyone in the room froze when she said that—everyone but Starfire who continued to cook as if her daughter hadn't said what she just did. She didn't see the point in being shock. She knew it was the truth and her daughter was simply stating a fact.

Robin on the other hand was mortified. It was now clear that his children could not keep a secret not even the personal ones . . .


	5. Chapter 5

"Eat well my little small things!" Starfire chirped, placing a plate before each of the children. They all exchanged hesitant looks. For all they knew the food could have been lethal or perhaps simply spoiled. In the short time they had known Satrfire they had learnt never to put anything past her.

"You wanna go ahead and say a prayer, R.J?" B.J asked, swallowing hard.

"I think we'll need a bit more than prayer…" He responded, running the fork through the semi-liquid substance that sat on his plate. Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if they were actually able to decipher what the hell it was. One thing was certain; it would never get past their throats. How could it?

"None of you are leaving this table until the nutritious meal has gone into your growing stomachs." Starfire cheered, pulling up a chair next to them and sitting with a smile. It was as if she was trying to torture them. Maybe she was annoyed by the statement Brightfire had said earlier and was only now taking revenge for that. That must have been it. Why else would she have put them infront of a plate of filth and asked them to eat it. They began to protest.

"Oh come on this isn't fair!"

"How do you expect us to eat this?"

"It simply can't be done!"

A puzzled look suddenly Starfire's face. "Why not? R.A has already finished her nutritious meal…"

The three flashed around instantly and saw R.A get up from the table, leaving behind an empty plate. They could feel their stomachs turning. How had she managed to get it all down…?

R.A hopped off the chair and made her way out of the room. She couldn't stay in there any longer listening to tem talking about the perfect existence that she would never have. She would disappear without knowing what it was like to ever be loved and they would remain with their parents in a life that was inevitably going to be filled with bliss. It wasn't that she liked feeling sorry for herself but this was one time when she had to. If she didn't then no one would… that was the reality no matter how much she wanted to change it and no matter how much she wanted to changed her mother.

Raven walked into the room and caught everyone staring at her.

"What?" She asked, trying to convey that their stares were annoying her. They had no right to be staring at her as if she had done something wrong. Who were they to judge?

"It is nothing…" Starfire said hesitantly, "and do not take this the wrong way but your little R.A seems alittle down this morning, perhaps you might know what vexes her."

"No, I don't." She answered sharply, now taking a seat in the corner and pulling out her book. Why would she know what was wrong with the child? It wasn't any of her business to find out. Besides that there was nothing she would have been able to do to make her feel better…everyone knew she had just the opposite effect on people. For all she knew R.A was torn by the fact that she had such a mother. R.A might have preferred having Starfire or even Terra, anyone but her…anyone but the girl who couldn't love.

"Oh, well okay…" Stafire sounded disheartened by the answer but only because she was. She couldn't see why Raven couldn't love her child as she loved her children. To her affection came easily and spending time with them was a treat so to watch Raven avoid R.A like the plague upset her more than she could understand. As far as she was concerned love came once you let it. All she had to do was choose to love then the relationship would get better. She sighed then turned to look at her children who were now running their forks through the meal again. She couldn't imagine not loving them, not caring when they were happy or sad, not caring whether they were hurt or safe…they were hers and she loved them. "Maybe you could try finding out…" Starfire mumbled, not willing to let it rest just yet.

"What did you just say?" Raven asked, looking up at her and raising her eyebrow questioningly.

Star's eyes went wide; she didn't know she had heard her and she wasn't prepared to answer under the dark glare of Raven's eyes. Robin saw the need for an intervention on Starfire's behalf before things got ugly.

"Um I think she was giving a suggestion, that's all Rae, no need to get mad…"

Raven's cold eyes now fell on him. What did they know? To them love came easily. Sure they could make suggestion—but only for themselves because such things obviously didn't pertain to her.

"We do not mean to upset you friend." Satrfire quickly put in before Raven could get very angry at him as well. "It is just that the little one is sad and I happen to think that she could be happier… if you would give her…" by now Raven's glare had darkened significantly, making her terrified of completing her statement, but she had to, "a hug…"

"If I blew your head off then gave you a hug would you feel any better?" Raven's voice held no trace of humour or patience as she spoke. They were annoying her.

"Well actually I would—it would have made me a lot better you see—"

"No Star…" Robin said stopping her before she could make Raven any angrier.

"Leave it be, Star, she never learnt how to love anything but herself." Terra scoffed from where she sat.

At that instant the look on Raven's face told BeastBoy that Terra had hit a very raw nerve. The fury in her eyes blazed. Unadulterated rage consumed her. This had officially gone bad but he could also see that Terra didn't care; it was as if she had wanted to piss her off. Knowing her that really was what she as trying to do.

Starfire took shifted in her seat and pulled her children to her.

"What the hell do you know?" Raven shrieked. Her anger was almost visible. Things got worse when they noticed her cloak slowly changing to red. It shouldn't have gotten this far. You can't say anything because you're no better!"

Terra shot up, pleased that she had the upper hand. "How is that?"

"Terra, cool it!" Robin ordered. As team leader he wasn't going to stand by and let something like this happened. Even he knew that the impending fight was more than a physical one and he had to protect them both.

"Why should I? She claims I'm no better but we're nothing alike! Unlike her I actually have someone who loves me and on top of that I know how to love so it's reciprocated. Just look how she went and screwed her life up with that bitter hag-like hatred of hers."

"Terra!" Beastboy warned.

"No! Don't tell me to stop! She brought this on herself now she has to tell me how her miserable life could ever compare to mine. You all need to stop treating her like she's some kind of Queen that everyone treads carefully around because they don't want to offend her and tell her the truth. We owe her that much seeing as how she is unlikeable, the whiny little bitch."

A tear pricked at Raven's eyes and threatened to fall but she wouldn't let it. Tears were reserved for when she was alone in her room in the dead of night, not where the one person who she refused to let see her crying was standing right across the room. She needed a quick come-back something that would make her seem unaffected by all the skeletons she had been piling high in her closet. Her lips parted prior to her mind actually thinking about something to say, it was times like this that you had to fake it until you made it.

"You're a bitch!"

Suddenly they all looked to the entrance and saw R.A standing there, tear stained faced and scruffy looking. Despite the fact that she took several baths she was never given anything new to wear and consequently wore nothing but the blue, cotton dress she had come to the dimension in. The splotches of dirt and other stains significantly. It was no wonder they laughed at her but that didn't matter right now. The fact that her Mommy didn't love her didn't matter either because she knew that despite those things her mommy never deserved to be spoken to. She had come to conclusion after listening ti the faint sounds of her crying until she fell asleep.

"What'd you just say to me?" Terra challenged, anger now burning in her eyes.

"She called you a bitch, do something about it." Raven declared, suddenly regaining her composure and, to some extent, her confidence. Something deep inside her jumped. Someone actually took her side and was steadily defending her despite all she had done. Everyone she'd ever allowed herself to fall in love with had all tired of her the moment they realized she couldn't love them the way they loved her. Yet despite all that this little girl stood arguing on her behalf. The happiness slowly died and gave way to feelings of wretchedness. She didn't deserve to be defended by her; she had done nothing nice for her since she got there. There was no way she could allow her to continue knowing this.

"You need to leave my mommy alone!"

"That's enough!" Raven blurted. She looked over and saw the confusion of R.A's eyes.

"But…-"

"I said that's enough, now shut the hell up."

"Heh, sorry kid, but that's what happens when you try to pick up for someone who's emotionally unintelligent. I'm sure now you see that she doesn't give a crap about you and she doesn't need you."

For a minute a flicker of light radiated from R.A's body but it quickly subsided. R.A gasped, taking a hesitant step back with her eyes glued to her palms. They were the last to stop flickering.

"Hey!" R.J shouted, wiggling out of Starfire's hand running over to R.A He took her hands into his and watched the last lights leave. When they were completely gone he placed his hand on her forehead and looked into her wide, frightened eyes.

Seeing this Brightfire pulled away and ran over to them as well. She placed her hands alongside her brother's on R.A's forehead then turned to Terra, absolutely livid.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Knock it off before you make her disappear!" Shouted a now frantic Brightfire. "I don't care what kind of problems you have with you self-esteem or worth don't take it out on R.A, it's bad enough she's got a worthless bitch for a mother, now you wanna make her disappear early?" Leave it to her to say exactly what was on her mind. The two turned back R.A willing themselves to forget everyone else in the room. "How are you feeling Sweetie?" Brightfire asked, lifting her chin and raising her head.

"I feel weak…" she responded staggering alittle but regaining her balance. "…and cold…"

They both turned and glared at Terra and Raven. "If she disappears we'll kill you both." They threatened in unison.

"What?" Terra retorted. "You two and what army?"

"Terra!" Beastboy exclaimed, this time more than a little annoyed. "Christ, give it a rest!"

She quieted immediately. The sting from his words had cut her deep. Slowly she sunk down into the seat and lowered her head. All she had been trying to do was show him that she was clearly the better choice but that had back fired, now he was annoyed with her…

Raven felt no better about the situation. In a way she had set the little girl up only to let her down—harshly. There was a throbbing pain in her chest as she watched the two walk off with her. Somehow she knew it should have been her leading her away and comforting her but something in her wouldn't let her. If things continued this way the little girl would be gone before anyone even knew it…


	6. Chapter 6

The situation had successfully turned into a mess but now it gave Beastboy just what he needed; an opening. If it was the last thing he did he was going to teach Raven how to love again and he was going to try to save R.A while he was at. The only question now was how. His mind drifted to possible ideas as he watched the children consoling R.A. He found it strange that no matter how mean they were to her they still cared so deeply for her and their maturity actually surprized him. It was a refreshing change to the behaviour of actual children that were their age.

The room went silent for a moment as everyone stared on at the three. It got Beastboy wondering…why wasn't his son trying to be a part of the consoling…? They were all friends and they all seemed so close. He found himself shuddering as he hoped against all else that his son didn't have some kind of emotional problems. At this point that would have only worsened everything.

Their eyes met for a second and he gestured for him to go comfort her as well. Shock and confusion vied for a foothold in the front of his mind when B.J frantically shook his head then averted his eyes. What was that all about…?

It was another few minutes before anyone spoke.

"Titans I think we—" But Robin was cut off by the sudden sound of the warning system. Immediately all eyes went to the big screen where a video of Slade breaking through the wall of the Science Facility just outside town flashed unto the screens. "Titans Go!" he shouted before bolting from the room. The others wasted no time in running after him. One by one they rushed out to answer the call of duty.

"Soooo…" B.J said , looking around the now empty room. "What are we supposed to do…?"

The other three looked at him, obviously wondering the same thing. All they knew was that there was a loud sound, flashing lights, then an image on a screen.

"We could go after them." R.J suggested.

"But then wouldn't we be in the way?" R.A muttered with more than a little uncertainty. The last thing she wanted to be was a burden to her mother while she was out in the field. That kind of rejection would ultimately cause her to vanish and that was what she was trying so desperately to avoid. She could already see the disapproving look on her mother's face the moment she would arrive and she didn't want to. For as long as she would remain there she made a promise to herself that she wouldn't allow her mother to get angry at her again. If it meant falling into the shadows and only speaking when spoken to then she was prepared to do just that; she was prepared to do anything to get her mother's love.

"Yeah we probably would…"B.J thought aloud. "Maybe we should just stay here where it's safe—"

"Can I tell you that we really are not interested in your input at this moment?" Brigthfire asked, cutting him off mid-sentence. He didn't have anything to say when R.A flickered, he didn't have anything to say when she and her brother were scolding his worthless mother and he didn't have anything to say when the bitch asked them which army would kill her ass so she didn't see why he would need to say anything now. He was nothing but a selfish prick more focused on self-preservation than sympathy for a long time friend. They were all such good friends until they got dragged here and now they were falling apart.

"Well sorry for just trying to think of our safety!" He blurted defensively. He hated when she acted all self-righteous. He knew exactly why she said what she had said and it only annoyed him. They didn't have to be actively fighting for their existence. They didn't know what it was like to know that even the smallest move could change the entire course of the future. All she did was judge based on what she saw. If he had to play hard to earn his keep then he intended to do just that because he wasn't going to go through the second vanishment just for some girl.

Brightfire turned red in the face. "If you cared then you wouldn't make it so easy for R.A to disappear. I get that you want to survive—we're all trying to survive but you are just so selfish—"

"Oh I'm selfish? What about you and your jar headed brother!"

"What?" The twins shouted incredulously.

"All you two ever do is walk around bragging—oh our parents are so great, you know what our parents did last night—our future is set in stone so we don't give a crap about anyone else—oh look at us we're going to skip merrily down the hall with our freakin' mother and show the whole damn world just how God damn perfect we are!"

"That's enough!" Brightfire shrieked, blasting him with as many bolts as she could manage before her hands went numb. "You don't know anything—"

"Guys please don't start…" R.A pleaded. Something told her that when the Titans got home they would be mad if they found the place destroyed and what's even worse her mother would blame her. It would all be her fault then her mother would never like her and she would disappear—they had to stop!

B.J struggled to get up but once on his feet he grabbed the closest piece of furniture and hurled it at them. Two seconds before taking their face off it was however intercepted by a nearly invisible force field. The chair blew up sending the three crashing into the wall nearby. Only two of the three got up but they didn't notice this until the dust from the now collapsed wall cleared.

"R.A…?" R.J called, nudging her briefly with his foot.

There was no response.

Brightfire and R.J exchanged apprehensive looks before their eyes fell on B.J.

"You're in big trouble…" They muttered.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Robin he cut through the forest!" Beastboy shouted before turning into an eagle and darting over the trees of the forest.

"Good eye Beastboy, Terra see if you can feel him out, Starfire I need a lift, Raven enclose this section, he can't have gotten that far!"

The Titans sprang into action. Starfire grabbed a hold of Robin flew off in the direction of the forest. They had to find him before he got away again because he had stolen another component; Zenthol, and the scientists seemed to have suffered a minor heart attack when they realized it was missing. That was all the reaction the Titans needed. This thing was obviously dangerous and Slade wouldn't have taken it unless he could have used it to ultimately complete whatever goal he had in mind. So they found themselves in the same position as last time, chasing the villain who had a substance they knew very little about. It went without saying, therefore, that they had to be careful. There was no need for a repeat of what happened and quite frankly Robin had seen enough children to last him a lifetime. The two he had at home were trouble when you boiled down to the centre and he had a feeling that if he had anymore they wouldn't have been any better.

"Robin I have visual on him!" Terra shouted into her talkie. He was so close, all she had to do was corner him in then force him back in the direction of the other Titans. This was going to be her moment to shine and get Beastboy to be proud of her again then she would go home and brag to her son about the great performance she would put on.

"That's good, what's your position?"

"Um…due east…abit further off than the creek!"

"Alright, locate Raven and get her to help you keep him contained we'll be right there."

"What? Robin I got this—"

"Do it Terra, we can't afford to let him get away again!"

She sighed and stuck the talkie in her back pocket. What did Robin know? Slade was just within reach and she didn't need Raven to help her. Speaking of the bitch she had just flown over head. She must have also seen Slade and was closing in the force field.

"Hey!" She called to her, "I got him!"

Raven looked down at her for no more than a second before focusing again. She was simple told to block the area so he couldn't escape and she planned to do that while at the same time staying out of her way. As far as she was concerned she wouldn't even need to land—or not.

Slade had become trapped. He turned to Terra, ready to fight his way out if necessary and this wasn't good. Who knew what that new chemical did? They were all warned to stay clear of direct contact while alone with him. Though she didn't want to—and she _really _didn't want to, she had to.

With the force field securely in place she took to the ground. The other Titans would be there soon enough. As her feet touched the ground Robin and Starfire rushed into the little clearing. Beastboy landed seconds later.

"It looks like the gang is all here." Slade remarked, not even in the least bit daunted by the sudden appearance of the entire team. If anything he looked abit relax…arrogant really… "Well almost the all of you…" His eyes focused for no more than a second on each girl. Somehow he seemed amused. "I'm quite curious at the moment and I'm hoping you three will be able to satisfy my theories…you see I was hoping to see some additions…perhaps some smaller Titans running around causing a bit of mischief." He chuckled cynically, "or should I assume they weren't very stable in the first place?" He tilted his head to the side, mocking them with his curiosity.

Robin rushed over to him and grabbed him but his shirt. "You! What did you do to them the last time we saw you?"

"Ah Robin, now what lesson would you learn if I simply told you the answer. I think you'll agree it removes the mystery behind the game and leaves a boring…façade."

"What do you mean?" Robin tightened his grip, "And what do you want with that Zenthol mixture?"

"I'd love to answer you but I think my train of thought has shifted."

They all followed his stare and saw Brightfire and B.J standing at just a distance. Starfire ran over to them immediately and took Brightfire's face into her hands.

"What has brought you both here, and where is your brother?"

"Farewell Titans." Robin turned again and found that Slade was no longer within his grasp but on the other side of the clearing. "I trust you'll all be more gainfully entertained the next time we cross paths." He saluted them then vanished into the trees.

For a moment Robin didn't move as the anger slowly built up. He couldn't believe that he had him in his grasp then lost him because of children that were supposed to have been in the tower. This was just his luck, they wouldn't see Slade again until his next move and by then it might be too late. Why did they have to get in the way? With a little composure slowly coming back he turned to the two slowly.

"Whatever you both came here for it had better be good!"


	7. Chapter 7

_So sorry guys, had some major exams recently DX_

Even after they returned to the Tower Robin found that his temper hadn't subsided. He couldn't think of a logical reason why the children had to show up and ruin a perfectly good mission. It didn't help that for the entire ride back Starfire had done nothing but try to make up excuses in fact it only pissed him off further.

"Sit." Robin ordered once they were back in the large living room at the top of the tower. The living room was a mess and the wall was broken but he would have to get to that in a moment. Right now the focus was on the fact that they had gotten in the way of the only lead they had. No matter how hard Robin tried he couldn't get over the fact that Slade was right infront of them and yet he got away. At the moment the only thing that stopped him from strangling them was the emotional Tamaranian that would never let him forgive himself if he did.

The two sat and watched the other Titans gather around them. They had a feeling that they were in big trouble but at the moment that didn't matter because R.A was in some serious trouble and they knew that they would have at least had some kind of technology that could make her feel better.

Brightfire rolled her eyes when she saw Raven walked out of the room after barely taking a glance at R.A who was still unconscious on the other side of the room. Despite the fact that she was slightly concealed she knew that she had seen her so she had no excuse. It was as if she didn't care. How did she manage to become R.A's mother? R.A deserved better, she deserved someone who would love her. If they could they would have begged to have her adopted by their mother but things weren't that simple; things were never that simply.

"You guys have two seconds to start explaining." Robin threatened.

They swallowed hard; he meant business.

"Well we were all just sitting around saying that we should stay here because we would only get in the way and you know Daddy we would never want to get in your way in the first place because we respect you so much—"

"Get to the point son." Robin said through his teeth. They were making it hard for him to try being nice.

"B.J slammed us into the wall and nearly made R.A disappear for good!" Brightfire blurted.

"What?!" B.J shouted incredulously as he rose from the chair. "She was the one who blasted me with her bolts and nearly killed me!"

"Because you were bring a jerk!"

"I was not!"

"Yes you were!—"

"Hey!" Robin shouted in frustration. It was as if they were begging him to be brutal. "Focus here; now why the hell did you guys just show up out of the blue and ruin our mission?"

Brightfire sighed. "R.A needs help…s-she won't wake up…"

"What…?" Beastboy asked. He had come to see R.A as his own. When he saw the lack of care she received it got him hooked. He wanted to make her his child as well but that would have only complicated things and started arguments that he wasn't willing to enter. It was times like this that made him question why life had to be so hard.

The three looked at each other briefly before making their way over to their friend. Starfire gasped when she saw R.A lying motionless on the floor.

"What's happened to her?"

"B.J made her faint." Brightfire muttered.

"I did not!" He retorted through his teeth.

"Alright! We're not starting this again, quiet you two." Robin ordered, already seeing exactly where the conversation was headed. He had heard enough bickering. The two went silent immediately and their eyes fell on R.A once more. "Now, what's wrong with her?"

"We don't know but we know you can fix her—Daddy you have to fix her, please!" Brigthfire begged, tugging at Robin's arm. He sighed.

"Alright, let's take her down to the infirmary; someone get Raven, I think she'll wanna know."

"I doubt that." Terra muttered, more to herself than to everyone else but it was too late. They all heard and she was given nothing but disapproving stares. She raised her hands in surrender and quieted.

"I'll go get her." Beastboy said, seeing his window of opportunity.

"No," They all turned to Starfire, silently questioning the reason for her objection, "I will go get our friend. I think she will not be upset if I am the one who summons to her." Robin nodded but Beastboy couldn't help but feel the sting. What was he going to do, argue that he should have been the one to go? That would never work; especially not with Terra standing right there. Though it pained him he also nodded his agreement then watched longingly as Starfire flew out of the room.

He would just have to wait for another opportunity because this one was officially missed.

Starfire floated over to the dark door in the middle of the hall. At first she was a bit hesitant but the moment she heard sniffling she knew she couldn't waste any time. Taking a deep breath she summed up all the courage she would need then knocked on the door.

"Go away." Came the voice of a defeated Raven.

"Please friend… I would just like to speak with you for a minute. I know you are upset and I would like to make you feel better by performing the earthly ritual of consoling." Starfire waited for a moment but when she never heard a reply she began banging on the door. It flew open immediately.

"Star knock it off!" Raven screamed in frustration but before she could slam the door shut Starfire bolted inside and headed for the furthest corner. She wasn't going to just leave. She needed to get Raven down to the infirmary for the sake of little R.A. In her head things would be better if Raven could simply hold the little one and allow herself to freely love and since she had convinced herself of this there was no way she was leaving without her. "Get out." Raven said, wiping the tears from her eyes. If she could she would stop crying or Starfire would never leave.

"Please Raven, R.A needs you to—"

"If you've come to tell me about that girl then just leave because I'm not interested." She had to stop her.

"Why don't you like her?!" Starfire couldn't help but blurt out. She couldn't understand why love was so hard for Raven to come by. "How hard is it to take the little one into your arms and whisper sweets words that only a mother—"

"Yeah well guess what, I'm not her damn mother! She's not my daughter and I don't need to do anything for her." Raven retaliated. What did Starfire know? All she did was fly around tossing out that insidious phrase to whoever would listen. Love? What love? "Stop telling me what I have to do and what _should _come naturally, I'm not like you. I don't tell the first living organism I see that I love them. I—I don't throw out hugs like they're candy and kisses like they're chocolate! I can't do that—"

"Well why not?!"

"Damn it Star, I don't know why, what the hell are you asking me?!" She said, turning sharply so her back was now facing her.

Starfire calmed herself slightly before walking over to Raven and forcing her down unto the bed beside her. Even then Raven refused to look at her. "Why don't you do all of that friend…?" Raven rolled her eyes at being asked a question for the second time that she had already confessed to not knowing the answer to. "Please, I am just trying to understand…" She paused hoping that she would receive an answer but when she didn't that became all the answer she needed. "You are afraid, aren't you?"

"What? NO, I fear nothing."

"Except being hurt…"

Raven flashed her head around. Realizing too late that that wouldn't have helped her plea her case of denial. She decided she would try anyway. "That is the farthest thing from it."

"No…no it's not. I like to think that I am you bestfriend Raven and I've known you long enough to know that it took you a long time to open your heart to Cyborg." Raven couldn't help but cringe at the mention of his name and the memory of the relationship they once shared. "I imagine it hurt you when he left after saying all he had to say and that hurt is what is keeping you from loving again, even loving in the simplest form such as the love of a mother." Raven looked up at her, wondering how she could have gotten all that. It was true that of all the Titans Starfire was the only one who really knew very much about her thoughts; courtesy of all the forced sleepovers were she was tricked into speaking what was on her mind but she didn't think that it was so obvious on her part. Starfire's expression softened even more. "And it's that hurt that's keeping you from loving Beastboy, isn't it?

"Star—" Was that obvious too?!

"You do not have to pretend around me friend—" A smile suddenly jumped unto her face, "in fact we must have a sleepover to discuss this pressing issue as well!" Optimism was rising steadily in her and the conversation had now taken on a different tone. Leave it to Starfire to be able to do that. "But for now we must go see the little one and see if Robin has fixed her and made her all better!" She said, jumping up and pulling Raven to her feet.

No sooner than she did that did Raven snatch away from her. "No stop!"

Starfire gave her a puzzled look. "What has troubled your mind now?"

She sighed heavily. "I—I don't know what to do…or how to react to her…no matter what I do it will be wrong."

The Tamaranian smiled. "That's not true, no matter what you do it will be right, don't be afraid to let yourself love her, she's only a small one and doesn't know how to hurt others as yet. That's the thing with children, they love unselfishly and don't know how to hurt…but the next thing is… they hurt easily…" Star gave her a serious look. "You should at least try. Brightfire told me that she'll disappear if this continues and I don't want them to lose a friend. Friends are everything and I know that if I lose you I will be sad…"

Without another word being passed between the two Starfire pulled her from the room and led her down the hall. She took her to the infirmary where everyone was standing at the bedside of R.A. For a moment Raven had to stand at the door and take a deep breath to prevent any tears from escaping. Whereas she was half okay with Starfire seeing her cry she wasn't prepared to share that side of herself with anyone else. Seeing her hesitation Starfire gave her a gentle nudge into the room before herself stepping in.

R.A twitched but didn't wake up.

"C-can I have a moment with her?" Raven muttered with her eyes firmly planted to the floor. She couldn't meet their accusing stares, especially not Terra's.

"Sure thing…"Robin began hesitantly. He figured that Starfire must have said something to her to get her to actually want to be in the same room as R.A and that was all he needed to see. There was improvement, she was trying and he was going to help her. "Come on Titans." Slowly the Titans piled out of the room until Raven was the only one left the now faded child. She looked down at her and could see her finger move slightly. Maybe this was all a mistake. Now that she was here she didn't know what she would say to her or what she would do.

"Mommy…?" The voice was frail and barely audible.

For the first time in the young girl's life she received an answer to this call. "Yes…?" Raven's voice came in a near whisper and was filled with uncertainty.

"H-Have you come to watch me die…?"

"What?" She wasn't understanding.

A loud cough resonated from the inside of R.A, shaking her ribs and shaking her. "I feel cold…it won't be much longer..'til I'm…" She swallowed hard and a single tear drop rolled down her small cheek. " 'til I'm gone and even though I know you won't miss me…" She stopped to couch again. This time, as she did her colours began to fade. "I'm still glad that I got to meet you…you're pretty…and smart…and tough…If I was going to live then I would want to be like you…"

"Stop talking like." Raven said, averting her gaze. She couldn't do it. She couldn't sit there and watch the little girl fade; not when she knew it was her fault. If she hadn't been so cold to here then she might have had a fighting chance. Now there was nothing she could do.

"Mommy?"

This time she couldn't bring herself to answer. There was a knot at her throat that she couldn't dislodge and she could feel the tears building again. If she just walked away then she wouldn't have to watch this. She wouldn't have to see her go but she couldn't get up; she couldn't leave her.

"Mommy…can I stay in your lap until I go? I—I've seen the others sitting in their mommies' laps and I want…to know how it feels too…please?" Raven pressed her eyes shut and squeezed her eyes shut. What was the right answer? Before she could think of it she felt a small hand fall on her. Looking up for the first time since she realized she was fading she saw that R.A had somehow gotten on her knees and was leaning over towards her. She watched as the girl use the little strength she had left to crawl into her arms and rested her head against her chest. "The others were wrong…"

"About what?" She asked, pushing back the tears as best as she could. Only the shakiness in her voice gave away her true feelings.

"They said you were cold...but you feel pretty warm to me…and you know what else…I think I found your heart Mommy…" She reached up and began playing with a lock of her hair. She had never known just how silky it was but she was glad she got to find out. The texture was soothing to her and she forced he fingers to run through it. "I like this…it's really comfortable." Now she knew why the others did it so often.

Raven let out a gasp when the girl suddenly felt so much lighter. Looking down she realized that she could only see the outline and R.A's fingers had stopped moving. Her chest was moving but it looked like it was taking her a lot of effort.

"No…R.A no, please don't leave me. I'm sorry I haven't been a good mother. I'll try I promise; I can love you, I can." All she could hear was the heavy breathing in response. "No please, please, stay with me. I can change." She broke out into wild sobs. She didn't want to lose her. It wasn't her fault that she was never loved. She deserved life, not to be faded and destroyed. Through her sobs she kept begging but it seemed the more she did was the more the girl faded.

Before long there was nothing….


End file.
